Introduction
A photograph capturing a moment in time reveals an inventory of items cataloged within, but little of the moment’s true essence. If pressed for a recollection of the moment captured in the picture f[1] to the left, I might confess that for me it was both somber and surreal. However, while reflection often leads to revelation, unrequited reflection only darkens the perception from which it was born. So perhaps you might be a little disappointed if you came here expecting to discover details of my life. To begin, Drew Philips is merely a pen name created to provide a certain degree of anonymity. Search the web if compelled, but for now you will find little detail beyond that seen in the reflection.
Reflections
Gaze into a mirror, and no matter how hard you concentrate, it provides only a reflection of the facing objects. If the mirror’s surface is damaged or deteriorated in any way, the image produced will lack clarity. Lower or remove the light required to produce the reflection, and the image clarity also diminishes.
Furthermore, the details observed will vary by simply changing the direction from which the surface is viewed. The image itself is nothing more than a momentary perception of the mind viewed through the eyes’ lens. So, add any of humanity’s filters including (but not limited to) vanity, doubt, insecurity, pride, hate, or love, and the possibility for variations perceived becomes endless. On the other hand, the details seen in the photograph capturing one of the stops along my life’s journey, will not vary regardless of the viewpoint. Here the ability to alter perception came only through the direction taken away from that moment.
Life’s Journey
Perhaps there is some truth in Ralph Waldo Emerson’s proclamation: “Life is a journey, not a destination”. Nevertheless, it is the destination that reveals (or exposes) the heart and soul of the traveler. The fool believes the destination is only a mirage. For although there are many crossroads faced in life that determine the paths traveled, journeys taken, and places visited, in the end life has just one destination.
The halfway mark in my life’s journey has come and gone, perhaps over a decade past now. With only a fraction the possibilities intended for me accomplished, I am just beginning to understand… The journey itself is the main reason to live. Along the way, the now imperfect shadow should be transforming to the unattainable completed self meant to be. If I appear to be less today than yesterday or the day before, I hope it is only because you lack vision. If I am actually less today than yesterday or the day before, then a change in course is necessary. Otherwise, the journey might end abruptly with the destination truly only being a fading mirage… Perhaps, a small amount of revelation is in order.
Crossroads
“When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child.” When it was time to become an adult however, I did not just put away childish things. The path taken to begin the transition to adulthood is where life’s significant crossroads often first appear. Rather than seeking advice from the experienced, decisions made here are more likely based on information accumulated from personal experiences. The better navigator is always wisdom. Still, it is not easy to obtain wisdom, as it usually requires the relinquishing of one’s pride first. And, if wisdom is to be attained (for not everyone will), it is only through the accumulation, thoughtful assessment, and growth out of one’s own life experiences.
At the crossroad of choosing a career path, I told anyone who would listen, “I was going to get a degree that would make me lots of money.” A foolish declaration at best, and one I clearly remember receiving a rebuke from my parents after making it in the company of their close friends. As it happened the friends were in the noble but underpaid profession of Teaching. When they had parted, I received a lecture, on the importance of developing sensitivity and awareness.
Retrospective
There would be other advice given along the way regarding the motivation behind the career choice. Even so, the belief that money mattered most, and perhaps foolish pride galvanized my decision to study computer programing. So, I spent four years half-heartily attempting to learn to write computer code and whole-heartily learning how to have fun. Looking back in retrospect, I cannot help but feel I chose the wrong language to study the skill of writing.
Intentionally trying to forget life’s questionable decisions, might diminish unwanted apprehension caused by regret. Dwelling on regret on the other hand, only serves to obscure the budding of unforeseen opportunity. Both will gradually anesthetize the spirit within. My life has been blessed, so I do not regret most paths taken. The passion to write however, has haunted me for well over a decade now. And yet, I have only dabbled here and there from time to time. I think that I have purposefully allowed life’s distractions to keep me from embarking on this journey. Perhaps there has been no distraction greater than the fear of writing that which would not considered to be relevant.
Final Thoughts
Of course, in order to be relevant you must first have an audience to be relevant to. So as the journey begins, I start with an audience of one, myself, as well as the determination to no longer be held captive to fear. For now, if what is written is only relevant to myself, that is OK. Meadows of the Mind is the platform from which the journey is being launched. While the ultimate goal is to write fantasy fiction novels, a 42 year pilgrimage, and odyssey through the corporate world needs to be drawn to a conclusion. On the first leg of this new journey, I will share observations and insights from my life experiences. The direction taken, though not fully determined will include perspectives from both inside the corporate world, and outside as a spectator on the sidelines of life.
For those of you who might be critical of that which has preceded, I request one consideration. This is just the starting point. If there is room for improvement (and there always is), it will be found. However, just as some people prefer a movie over a Broadway show, a sporting event over ballet, or non fiction over fiction, perhaps you were just not meant to be in this audience, which is OK as well. For everyone else, I invite you to return from time to time to explore the journal of my travels. Perhaps, if the spirit moves you, join the journey.
~ Drew Philips
f[1] A perspective on the moment in which one’s reflection fades:
